Thursday, June 22, 2006

Vows, Love, and Truth

Oh happy day when we say vows of love and receive vows in return. I will; I do, 'til death...

In that moment of bliss and love, it is easy to overlook the everlasting factor. My love and I did not vow to forsake all others. We focussed on our own love, on our pledge to love and honor one another in sickness and in health. Ours was a vow of trust and compassion. We vowed to cherish one another as long as we lived.

Vermont Vow: rings and roses
photo by Cecile

Life is often long; we go through many changes that weigh upon those vows. It is time that makes lies fatal to our vows. Each year a lie is perpetuated, the betrayal of trust thickens, becomes harder to overcome. The lie is a worm that grows in the heart, devouring love and trust. Ultimately the heart gives out.

William Blake's poem is but one example:

The Sick Rose

O rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy,
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.

Only forgiveness can conquer the invisible worm, can mend the injured heart. And forgiveness will come only when the pain of truth removes the love-killing lie.

Poet Regina Hill provides wise, if sentimental, advice:

Foundations of Marriage
by Regina Hill

Love, trust, and forgiveness are the foundations of marriage. In marriage, many days will bring happiness, while other days may be sad. But together, two hearts can overcome everything...In marriage, all of the moments won't be exciting or romantic, and sometimes worries and anxiety will be overwhelming. But together, two hearts that accept will find comfort together. Recollections of past joys, pains, and shared feelings will be the glue that holds everything together during even the worst and most insecure moments. Reaching out to each other as a friend, and becoming the confidant and companion that the other one needs, is the true magic and beauty of any two people together. It's inspiring in each other a dream or a feeling, and having faith in each other and not giving up... even when all the odds say to quit. It's allowing each other to be vulnerable, to be himself or herself, even when the opinions or thoughts aren't in total agreement or exactly what you'd like them to be. It's getting involved and showing interest in each other, really listening and being available, the way any best friend should be. Exactly three things need to be remembered in a marriage if it is to be a mutual bond of sharing, caring, and loving throughout life: love, trust, and forgiveness.

With love,


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