Thursday, May 07, 2026

Born Which Way

“In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation.”

― Simone de Beauvoir

The notion that all people are born either straight or gay, may have come from some well-meaning attempt to justify people being gay, making the religious or prejudiced view that gay people should seek a cure or choose to be straight pointless. Nonetheless, it isn't true. Kinsey's study, research, and accounting of human sexuality proved that people can be classified on a scale from all straight to all gay, that most people fall in between.

From my childhood on, I always thought it absurd that I should not be intimate with this or that person because of that person's gender. Love came or didn't mostly because of the person's qualities: friendliness, intelligence, empathy, interests, kindness or meanness...

D. H. Lawrence, on whom I wrote my Master's Thesis, persuaded us in every one of his novels, never more than Women In Love, that a man should have not only the love of a wife, or woman, but also the love of another man. His wrestling scene in the novel (as it was in the film of his book), a vivid and compelling look at male bonding. Birkin never failed to believe in such a love, even after Gerald's death in the snowy Alps. The same can easily be deduced of a woman's need for another woman in her life.

The new films and series now appearing about polyamory, especially the manage-a-trois, affirm the realization Lawrence, and Simone de Beauvoir had. The exploration of how and why their views are true to life is beautifully portrayed in the characters' approach and questioning of the old rules and misconceptions about people's attractions. Millennials are the generation keen on this rejection of controlling rules of conformity. Here are two new 21st C. films to illustrate the innovative awareness from L.A. to Italy to the Middle East, to contemporary Japan...

https://www.netflix.com/title/82025606

https://us.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0G2MV149W/ref=atv_dp_amz_c_TS8274d9_1_15?jic=16%7CCgNhbGwSA2FsbA%3D%3D

Build and improve your love; don't castrate it.

--Jameson

Saturday, May 02, 2026

Hawaii: Four Spectacular Islands for over Forty Years

John and I first came to Hawaii in the 1980s. A friend and her husband invited John to house-sit for a few months in their home high above and overlooking Diamond Head. I was able to stay there only a couple of weeks over a warm, delightful Christmas. We even managed a visit to the Big Island of Hawaii where we stayed at Volcano House and had a look at Kilauea Volcano.

Let's forego the chronology in favor of a celebration of all the stays at once.

Darryl discovered Kalani. The first time we traveled from Kona and the Kohala coast to Hilo and Volcanoes National Park, as well as Zen Buddhist monk Su Nim's house near Hawi. The second time, Starr came with us to celebrate her 50th birthday in the home of Pele and on the peak of Mauna Kea. The third visit brought Darryl to the Big Island for 7 weeks of spiritual awakening, kindred spirits, and confrontation with death itself. Our near drowning experience provided us both with a baptism and rebirthing at the base of the waterfall we had listened to all night in our pagoda at friend Jane's Kulaniapia.

Kalani was the heart of our experience, especially Darryl's. Hiking to the flow of fire from Pele at dawn, swimming the black sand beach of the Waipio Valley, interacting with the world of people inhabiting Kalani was a religious epiphany. No exaggeration.

Darryl also returned for a three month volunteer experience. I joined him then and felt like one of the Kalani family of friends.

Sasha Beam, Zen Swing

Our Tree House Party

Darryl's A-Frame

Sunrise with Pele

Darryl and Starr: Tree House

Darryl feeds the local Nene Geese.

NENE Goose

Hanauma Bay

Before it became so restricted

View from the Peak of Mauna Kea showing the shadow of the mountain The Sunset over Maui was phenomenal.

Our Arrival on Maui

Kimo, our Native Hawaiian Friend

Cathy and Darryl

Botanical Garden

Finally, Cathy Hall and Marc Gilbert provided decompression and a soothing, relaxing reentry into the ordinary world. We visited art museums and had the charms of Waikiki and Honolulu to help us transition back to the mainland. My last night with Cathy included a visit to Rumfire, on the beach, near the Royal Hawaiian, the club Dar had discovered on an earlier trek to Oahu.

There are countless images that remain with me in addition to the 600 or more photos we took. Images such as the Thai truck selling fantastic garlic shrimp on the north shore of Oahu, or the ancient Roman painting in the Honolulu Academy of Art of Eros riding a Dolphin, Eros looking exactly like Darryl. A few future haiku might be appropriate.

Our most recent stay was on three islands with Wolfgang and Sebastian:

Hawaii: Three Islands, Three weeks +, Three States of Mind:

https://zonetotal.blogspot.com/2019/06/hawaii-three-islands-three-states-of.html

(click)

Zen Nights Dharma Days

Authored by:

Jack Miller

Zen. Sublimity. There are few words to conjure the world of Kalani Honua, a place of rhythms and life. Fortunate are the happy souls who come here, intermingle, and experience such contact with earth, air, volcanic fire, and water-- the ocean and the waterfalls, and the pools of clear healing water. People here connect to the land in a holistic way difficult to imagine on the mainland of the U.S. Everything flows in a harmony that resonates in those who live and work here.

It is easy to photograph the flowers, the pristine beaches, the steam from Kiluea, from Pele. It is easy to imagine, to recall, the joy of sitting in the swing pictured here, gazing at the ocean for whales, for the spume as they catch their breath, dolphins, black crabs scurrying over the black lava rocks. Life is exquisite here, like a rare orchid. The lizard on the sunny sill has found enlightenment.

High up on Haleakala

But wait: Even more commentary and photographs of Hawaii:

https://zonetotal.blogspot.com/2019/04/hawaii-x-8.html

Enjoy.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Life in the Blue Ridge Mountains

Since I was a child, I have gone countless times to the Blue Ridge Mountains. My mother love the Blue Ridge Parkway and several of the Inns with their views and cool summer breezes. She went for years, often accompanied only by her German Shepard, in a large Winnebago. My own love of the mountains has increased steadily with time and romance. I've seen much of the world and enjoyed a wealth of cultures. Yet, for all the wondrous places I've been, nothing compares to the harmony, the tranquility, the familiarity, the nearness, the ataraxia I have experienced in the mountains from Rabun County, Georgia, to the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia.

My Mom, Geri Miller, my brother John Miller, Lee Killian, who from his teenage years accompanied my family or me to the Blue Ridge Mts., are among the first who shared the joy of being there.

My first Love, Sharon M., went with me there on trips up from the University of Virginia.

MOM (Geri Miller)

Lee and John

Sharon, my college sweetheart and fiancé.

The Love of my Life for 35 years was Darryl. We stayed together in the Blue Ridge Mountains at all our favorite places: The Pisgah Inn, Black Rock Mountain Cabin 6, Mars Hill, Lake Rabun Hotel, The Dillard House, several hotels in Asheville, numerous places with friends in homes along the Blue Ridge Parkway. Like my Mother's ashes, Darryl's ashes are in Graveyard Fields and Waterfall, Blue Ridge Parkway.